30sumthin

 I skipped class today to ….study!!Yep, I have a major exam next week and the material is overwhelming.  I’m currently still working out 5-7 days a week, and still overindulging …but I’m getting better. The scale hasn’t budge from 228 but yesterday while I was doing my jumping jacks, my bloddy pants fell off …good thing I’m working out at home and not in a gym that could have been embarrasing..heheheheh.

I decided to write down my goals for June, since it has been a long time since I did that.I was just thining that back in February I had assume that I would be closer to goal by now, I didn’t think that I would have lost 7 pounds and still be on the wagon….then again ,my total weight loss has been 23 pounds since last year January I weighed 250!Okay enough yapping ..what are my goals for this month:

1. Calories - 2000, reduce to 1800 by the end of the month. ( the goal is to be at 1500 calories by August).
2. Milk 2 servings ( I usually get one serving in, need to keep up with my calcium).
3. 2 fruits servings ( my Achilles heel)
4. 2 vegetable servings ( maybe I’m pushing it a bit:()

That’s it for the month of June. I’m hoping to reach my 1st mini goal by the end of June, who knows I might accomplish it earlier …take care folks

First and foremost, thanks to everyone who responded to my last blog….A couple months ago I might have reverted to my ole habits but right now I’m riding a high and even though my weight loss is slow on the scale, my clothes tell a different story and I guess I ‘m going to have to accept it;0.

I’m doing pretty good, in my 5 th semester and it’s crazy as hell. With my studies and my BF’s moving, this summer plans to be interesting. I still have my bad days, eating way over my caloric intake and burning it off with all my workouts, so I’m basically maintaining until I get another ”aha” moment . I’m still at 228, haven’t shifted. However, I get it now, crack down on the overeating, pounds lost …just easier said than done.It is possible by the end of June, I might be jumping around in a size 14…man, it’s been years since I’ve been that size, hell, I’m still stoke that I wear 16’s now and not the size 20’s of last year.

On another note, I received my Jillian Michaels Circuit Training video …..CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!….BUT, IT’S AWESOME! I’m up to circuit 4 and Mission 2 of Billy Blanks Boot Camp series..take care everyone and sending out skinny vibes….stick with it!

    Now, I’m loving myself , working out, watching what I eat, etc, etc and then I start to notice little things.Suddenly, I’m queen for the day! People are bringing me cookies, chocolate cake,etc and at first I was like that’s nice, thanks and then throw in the garbage later on , but after a couple of days I’m starting to wonder …sabotage?

   I’m a open book on certain things, like my weight and my hair ( I change hairstyles as often as I change my underwear…hahahah). Most of my friends know that I’m on the health trip, since I carry a notepad around and I write down everything I eat (yep…anal). I started noticing that friends who couldn’t give a shit what I ate before, are now pushing me to eat things that I do not want to eat!….My BF says that sometimes people like to keep individuals in a box and maybe my losing weight and taking care of myself is starting to become “problem” for some ….envy, fear?…REALLY! So I decided to put it to a test….I told my GFS that I had overeaten, so the next couple of days I’m going to try and eat healthy….do you know the next day, 3 of the 5 heifers brought me CRAPPY FOOD  to eat ( my favorites), one to the point a huge bag of chocolate chip cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WTF!

   I should of called them on it,but I really do not think that it is intentional so I used the gentler approach…I’m not going to lie I ate some of the cookies but gave the rest away ( I had four…and believe me that was self-control …cookie monster has nothing on me!)….However, one particular female I had to let go, since I felt she had some issues she needs to work on before we can be friends again ( you know that saying misery loves company….support is one thing trying to make me feel gulity because I’m moving forward is another…I’m to0 old for that crap!!!)….anyways take care….time to workout ….

    I know what you are thinking, 7 lbs and girlfriend thinks she is a supermodel…hahahahha…it’s true I look in the mirror and I’m loving myself. I started this thing two-three months back that every time I look in the mirror I’m going to say positive things…kept it to myself cause I thought I was being corny, then one day I was watching “I can make you thin” and the host mentioned that positive thinking is one of the things that everyone should do..on a side note alot of the things he mentioned was pretty logical and I was in the process of doing it …I guess I’m just pissed cause I did not get a TV show …okay I’m just playing…However, I looked in the mirror this morning and I said “ you are one hot mama,” and I did not laugh or think “man, you are psycho”..I truly believed it!….I’ve been working hard on this because I realised a long time ago that if I don’t love myself now, or get over my issues now, losing weight is not going to solve those problems…believe me I know because I found an old diary of mine when I was in my early twenties and a healthy 160 …I was shocked to read that I was complaining that I couldn’t fit into my niece’s clothes (we are 3 years apart)…she is a size 2 ( healthy chick, eats like a horse, just lucky …hate her…nah just joking!). For the record  Iwas a size 8!….Shoot, now I’ll be glad with a size 10!…Sometimes it’s good to become older….it’s just unfortunae that wisdom comes with a price!…so many wasted years of hiding!…At least I’m living now ….this hot mama needs to go prepare for school!

Okay I tried to do this as a before and during, did not work out that way. The first pic of me semi-nude is me at 230 lbs(April 08). The second pic is at 235 lbs taken in early March 08. The third photo is me at …..250 lbs (Dec 06)…and the last was me at 247 lbs ( Mar 07) …I thought I looked damn good, I actually went out like this ..yikes….Work in progress…hehehe…Off to go workout.

    Well, after my rant yesterday and a few slips with food …I took a hard look at myself and realise this craziness has to end. I’m working my butt off to maintain my weight cause I keep snacking ALL the time. So one of the first things I need to do is …..cook…..sigh… I CAN cook, it’s impossible for any of my siblings including myself not to know how to cook, it was a requirement growing up….I just hate cooking …okay no, not true let’s be honest ….I’m spoiled… I purchased  a duplex with my mom, when I was 21, moved out, moved back in and shall be moving out again in 8 months time. My dad is the cook of the family and he loves to cook and I LOVE his cooking. Things were great when my parents travelled, but, this year they are in hiatus and well, I got a little spoiled. However, not anymore, as of today I shall be doing my own cooking, hope my BF has his Gravol….I’m taking a stand….what’s for dinner? Whole wheat pasta and meat sauce….yummm…time to go shopping….I’m so tired …Mission Two of Billy Banks is no easy feat….au revoir

      So I started this weight loss journey in February and so far I’have lost 5 pounds…Okay, not a feat, but, I’m pretty proud of keeping that damn 5 pounds off. In addition, I’ve become an excerciseholic and I’m cool with that also …so why when I want to share my joy of excercise I get the remarks and looks or worse yet , friends who complain about their weight and are not doing anything about it, want to lecture me on the fact I’m boderline anorexic……ME, who eats too much!…So I can be lovely and I can be sweet but when I’ve had enough …PITBULL COMES OUT!! and blast it I’ve had enough!!!

    Why, is it when people want to complain about their personal lives, friends who they hate ( but still hang out with), etc. etc. I’m the shoulder to burden yet, when I ‘m ready to speak about doing something positive, that will prolong my life …I get the blank stare, ummhm response and the “oh, I hope it works out for you, THIS TIME!”….Crap, I’m pissed off!….I’m venting here, cause lord knows , if  I say what I realy want to say, there’s going to be some seriously hurt feelings and broken friendships ….ahhhhhhhh……so I have my phone on off, withdrawing from society a bit….need a break …cause I feel like I’m going to say something nasty and I can be REAL nasty…so before I go there, write a blog, vent, do some tae bo and then watch a movie….now to go workout:)

     After a couple of days on Weight Watchers, I figured out why the scale is not moving…..I eat too damn much! In two days I went over my points, had my activities points swapped and still used up some of my weekly allowance points …ouch! My weakness are snacks and my dad’s baking…finger licking good!Enough of that…I’m going to stay focused and try to fix this problem.Firstly, I need to start ticking off the things that are good for me…on the weight watchers online, you have certain items that are required for the day, ex: six glasses of water, 3 servings of milk, 4-6 servings of fruits and vegetables and a mulitvitamin…so far, I’ve got the water completed every day. SO, I’m thinking, that before I hit my 100 calories snacks or my dad’s cooking, I will try to complete these items and then only then shall I indulge in the wicked!…Sounds easy right!…Wrong, I think I’m the only Carribbean person who detest fruits ….vegetables? Is it dipped in chocolate?…okay, truth be told I loved brocoli, spinach and cauliflower…but, I’m working on it ….ohh I just remember I had a half glass of my Dad’s Peanut punch (sigh) …I need to enter it ..Okay folks I’ll keep you updated with my dilemas and hopefully one day my success…at least I’m still at 230, once saw the scale go to 227lbs …I might have been dreaming that day…But I shall break this cycle and I will see 165 one day…however, I’m not quitting, this is a learning experience and who knows it might take me years to lose this weight(I hope not) but, then again I did not get this way overnight, it took 7 years of bad choices, well here’s to 1st year of good choices …skinny vibes to all! 

   This time around it seems harder. Last year,  I was consistently losing weight every week , this time around I’m just maintaining. The scale has not budge in 3 weeks! Yet my legs are becoming defined and my tummy is going down, isn’t this supposed to happen near goal?….So back to recording everything that I eat…sometimes 2 workouts in a day..although I’m a bit frustrated, I’m not pissed off yet, since I believe that there are things that I need to change still about my eating habits …However, I’ve been following some of the Heartbreakers, WOW, these ladies are pulling out big numbers…in addition my boyfriend has hit the 200 mark …I’m happy for them but wondering where I’m going wrong ….but,I’m on the weight watchers Flex Plan and I joined last Thursday, so we shall see if we get result on this ….Take care everyone …time to do some cleaning!

     Firstly, I want to thank everyone who gave their feedback on my last post. After sleeping on it, I decided not to ask for the prescription. To be honest, I’m afraid of some of the side effects and my body is a weird one. It does not take medication well…it’s one of the reason I try to stay herbal or ride it out. I wouldn’t want, 10 years from now, I look good but my heart is so weak due to pills I was taking…I’ve already jeopardize my system from being overweight and a smoker for 10 years, do I really need to add more crap?! Anyways, it got me thinking that I should post a “what I’ve accomplished so far” to help me through the next couple of months:

1. It’s offically 3 weeks that I’ve been working out 5 days a week for 30 mins….
2. I eat breakfast every morning, even when I’m late, I make time for breakfast….I was notorious for skipping breakfast.
3. I drink a glass of skimmed milk every day…I’m lactose intolerant and there’s this brand called Lactaid, the milk taste delicious and I’m getting use to it.
4. I’m starting to take more interest in my appearance…and this is important. I think I needed to get that idea out of my head, you know the one, when I lose this amount of weight I shall do this or that….now, it’s I’m going to look good at any size because I’m a work in progress…I see myself as in renovation, yes, I’m comparing myself to a home…I love renovation…HGTV is my favorite channel ….okay side tracked again…
5. I’ve lost 3.6 lbs and I’ve kept it off…..it may seem a small amount but if I lose 3.6 pounds every month, in 10 months I will be 30 pounds ligther and over that 10% fat loss marker, which means there will be a significant drop in my heart work load, blood pressure and respiration…..

                So I’m not doing too badly. March 19th shall be one month that I’ve been on here and I’m actually proud of what I’ve accomplish. There are great people on here who help me to succeed( readers like you and my faithful buddies), a determine leader, April , who would not take no for an answer:)(Go Heartbreakers)…. and a great boyfriend who supports me, even when I’m being bad:)….remember the good things people ….now I feel pumped, off to the Treadmill…..Skinny Vibes…everyone